Today our office changed to a new owner and the internet that we were using got shut off. We haven’t yet had a chance to get new internet, so I was using my data. I have 5 gigs of data per month, so I was keeping an eye on how much data I was using.
It was very interesting. I noticed that usually when I am working I have at least 15 different tabs open on my browser. It is always these different things that I want to get to eventually, when I have time. I don’t want to close the tabs, because then I will forget about them. But today, when I was working, I didn’t want to keep all those tabs open because they would use up all of my data just keeping the websites refreshed. I went through those tabs, I saved the sites that I would need for later, I closed the ones that weren’t necessary and I managed to get down to just the two or three specific sites that I was currently working on.
I was surprised how much more focused I was able to be on my work. There were only the three tabs I had to manage. If I opened more, I ended up quickly closing the ones that weren’t useful so I didn’t “waste” my limited data.
I was surprised today how much more productive I felt. I wasn’t all of the sudden jumping to my open Amazon tab and without realizing it, shopping for something I didn’t even want. I didn’t jump to find a message someone had sent me on Facebook and accidentally end up scrolling. These tabs just weren’t open and available.
This made me start thinking about my life and how many “tabs” are always open in my mind. There are so many things that I am trying to do, or waiting to get to etc. I think these “open tabs” also use up my mindspace, or my limited mind “data”. Even if they are just sitting there in the background, not really doing anything, they are still using up the limited energy that I have.
I then started connecting that to trauma and the unintended effects it has on us. Trauma is essentially something in our life that is unresolved. It sits in the back of our mind like an open tab; just waiting for us to process it. Most of us are completely unaware of our unresolved trauma, we don’t even think that we think about it; but did you know that 70% of the thoughts that we think we are completely unaware that we are thinking them? This means that even if we think that trauma that happened in the past doesn’t affect us anymore, if we have not processed it, it just sits there like an open tab on our browser screen using up data.
So many of my clients are exhausted, but they don’t know why. They feel overwhelmed by small tasks, they feel like they just can’t do everything they “need” to do. Then they blame themselves, think that there is something “wrong” with them, but all that is happening is that their “open tabs” are using up all of their data, and they have nothing left for the things that they want to focus on.
If you are exhausted and overwhelmed, it might be a good idea to look inside and see what “open tabs” are burning up your data. Maybe it is something you know is there and have known for a while that it is affecting you, or maybe it is something that happened years ago and you have no idea it even impacted you. It can take some time to sort through our “open tabs” to close the ones that are irrelevant, to make a note to come back to the ones that are important, and to stay focused on the the two to three most important ones.
I wonder if we could take the time to be more aware of the “data” we are using in our lives. What about some of those unfinished projects that just sit forever in the back of our mind as something we have to get to sometime. What about the multiple things that we are in the middle of doing or trying to do? What about the unresolved trauma that we haven’t yet processed? All of these things sit as open “tabs” in our mind, and they are using up our “data” making us exhausted!
What if we were more aware of the “data” we were using in our lives; only have a maximum of two or three tabs open, focusing on one at at time. If I am having supper with my family, all of the other tabs get closed. This is all I am doing. If I am trying to write a blog post, all the other tabs get closed. I am not trying to write my post, find out the best way to market my blog, listen to a podcast on blogging, think about my SEO, and trying to make sure my office space is clean all at the same time. I wonder how much less “data” we would use up in trying to get through our day.
I started a new habit this March. Every morning I write down the things that I want to accomplish in the day and then order them according to importance. Then, I start with the first one. I don’t even look at the second one until the first one is done. (or until I have exhausted the possibilities on it for the day). I have found that simple habit to be similar to closing all the extra tabs on my browser. It enables me to focus on what I am doing and actually get it done.
Maybe it is time to think about how many Gigs of data we are using in our lives. Maybe we need to have compassion on ourselves, because unresolved trauma is like an open tab in our browser. It takes up our “data”, even if we aren’t aware of it. This is why so many people who have been through trauma are exhausted all of the time.